It’s a wake-up call for all parents! Aggressive behaviour in children is spreading just like an epidemic. The stabbing cases in Brightlands School, Lucknow and the murder of class II student, Pradyuman Thakur, Gurgaon are the proof for the same.
But, what we all do on hearing such cases?
We gossip about it for a few days, empathise with the victims, curse the school authorities and the juvenile criminals, and then forget. Isn’t it?
Why do we, the Indians need something big and disastrous to happen before springing into an action? Do you, the parents will wake up only when your kid becomes a victim of someone’s aggression or commits such a crime himself?
If NO, then it’s time to take action NOW!
But, what kind of action? And how?
Before taking out the solution to any problem, you must understand the problem first. To make it easy for you, I will explain what you mean by an aggressive behaviour in children and how to pick that up in your child.
What is an aggressive behaviour?
An aggressive behaviour is a physical or verbal behaviour of a child that is self-assertive. The child expresses his anger and frustration in a destructive way; he hits others and his own parents. Click To Tweet
Temper tantrums, hitting or biting others, and refusing to obey your directions are all examples of an aggressive behaviour in children.
You might say, what is the big deal with such behaviour? Today’s kids are defiant; they don’t listen to anybody and might hit others sometimes.
Mind you; the key word here is SOMETIMES. Few tantrums, shouting, and arguments occasionally are normal. But, if it becomes a daily ritual, it must raise your concern.
The cases of Brightlands and Ryan International School are the highest form of aggression in children. Such an aggression stems from anger, frustration, sadness, and loneliness in children which are mishandled over time. These kids must have exhibited little signs of abnormal/aggressive behaviour in the beginning, but their parents were unaware of it.
If you want your kids to be safe, pay attention to the signs of abnormal behaviour in your child!
Signs of aggressive behaviour in children
- Frequent crying, yelling or emotional outbursts in a child. Even minor things bother him much.
- Hitting or biting others at the least provocation. For example, you refuse to buy something and the child hits you.
- The child becomes disrespectful and talks back to you and other family members.
- A soft-spoken child turns into a rude child.
- The child withdraws himself from you, his friends, and other activities. He seems to be least interested in his surroundings.
- The child lies to you.
- His performance in school gets poor.
- The child gets into frequent arguments with his peers.
- The child disobeys all your instructions.
It’s not necessary that all these signs will land your child in a juvenile crime like others, but you must correct them at the beginning itself.
Before I tell you how to control an aggressive behaviour in your child, let’s learn the factors which fuel such behaviour.
Factors leading to aggressive behaviour in children
We all get angry and frustrated in our life, but when such emotions are not handled properly and get prolonged, they lead to an abnormal behaviour in a child. Here are those factors:
Aggression in parents
When parents beat or spank their child over every mistake or use abusive language to teach him discipline, they inculcate aggression in him. The child may obey your instructions initially, but eventually, he will grow rebellious and disrespectful towards you.
That doesn’t mean you should not scold your child, but aggression will only give birth to aggression.
Too much discipline at home or school
“Too much of anything is bad, it can destroy you. Too much darkness can kill, but too much light can also make you blind.” This holds true for discipline as well. If it’s in excess and curbs your child’s freedom, it’s good for nothing.
The stressful environment at home
“Ek bacche ko kya stress hona”; you might think. But, the environment at home has a great influence on the young and growing minds. The fight between parents, broken relationships, parents neglecting the child, not spending quality time with him and other such issues have a negative influence on the child. And you never know what his negative emotions will lead to.
Violent video games and TV shows
Though it’s debatable whether violent video games provoke aggression in kids, a research study conducted by a psychology professor at Iowa State University, Douglas Gentile confirms the same.
The study followed over 3,000 children in third, fourth, seventh and eighth grades for three years and found that repeated playing of violent video games makes the child think more aggressively. When provoked at home, school or in other situations, the child reacts similarly as in playing the video game.
What parents ought to do?
Now, when you know the signs of aggressive behaviour in children and what factors contribute towards it, it’s time to remedy the same.
Follow these steps to avoid the development of abnormal behaviour in your child or handle it before it proceeds to full-blown aggression:
- Do not ignore any signs of abnormal behaviour in your child.
- Avoid using abusive language in front of the child, neither to scold him nor anyone else. If your child uses any such language, correct him immediately without scolding.
- Do not react to the child’s misbehaviour on an impulse. Let the child calm down and then address his misbehaviour with calmness and patience.
- Stay away from yelling or shouting at your child. Talk to him in a low, yet firm voice.
- Do not hit or beat the child, no matter what
- Refrain from using violence or physical punishment to correct the child’s misbehaviour.
- Even if you are experiencing a marital issue with your spouse, do not speak negatively about him/her in front of the child.
- Encourage your child to share his feelings with you, even if they are negative. Explain him the consequences of violent behaviour and give better alternatives to express anger than hitting.
- Spend some quality time with your child daily; get involved in his activities.
- Limit the use of gadgets and mobile phones at home; give your full and unobstructed attention to your child.
- When buying games for your child, make sure they are free from all violent content.
- Do not watch violent TV shows with your children.
If parents exhibit calmness, compassion, and patience in handling their child’s misbehaviour rather than ignoring it or tackling it with anger and aggression, it will incur positive emotions in their child and save him from this severe epidemic.
I ask you to do one more thing. Please share this post as far as possible with your friends and relatives. Save the today’s generation from the clutches of aggression!