You search something like this on the net, “My child uses bad words, what should I do?”
“How to stop a child from using bad words?”
“How to control my child’s foul language?”
And you stopped by this article, isn’t it?
You get upset because your child uses bad words. All the methods, scolding, spanking, and punishing have failed. So, now you look to the internet for a solution.
Don’t worry! I will not dishearten you. I will not break your aspirations. You will get a sure shot formula to stop a child from using bad words.
But, let me tell you the truth. You can never discipline your child by scolding.
Now, when you learn how to scold your child, let’s answer your problem quickly.
A step-by-step guide to stop a child from using bad words
Follow these steps in order:
Ask the child if he understands what the words mean
What is your immediate reaction when your child uses bad words?
You say, “Kahan se seekha ye sab bolna? Aage se aisa bola toh thappad pad jayega, munh tod dungi tera, haath per tod dungi, papa se shikayat laga dungi….” etc.
But, did you ever inquire whether your child knows the meaning of what he speaks?
No! You blurt out in anger. And your child thinks what wrong he did.
Many times children hear the adults or their peers speak such words or on TV. However, they don’t know their meaning and just pick them up to explore.
So, before you take any action, see if your child understands their meaning. This will also help you recognise the source of such bad words.
Explain the meaning if your child is unaware
If your child doesn’t understand the meaning of the bad words, it shows his innocence. In such a case, do not scold the child, rather explain him the bad words and why they are bad.
It’s also the time to introspect yourself. Check whether you or anyone else at home use such words in the routine conversation. If so, stop them immediately!
Rules are rules; for the child and the adults
Understand the reasons behind using bad words
If your child uses bad words with understanding, he must have a sound reason. Enquire about those reasons.
The child might use them to express his anger, frustration, emotional upset or just to show how cool he is.
Remember, he never ever has any intention to offend you.
Fix the reasons
Whether to show off he is cool or from an emotional upheaval until you fix those reasons, you can’t stop your child from using bad words. He might listen to you for a moment; stop using the bad words for a moment, but he won’t stop permanently.
So, explain to him it’s not cool to use such words, even if his favourite TV show does.
Scolding an emotionally weak child will hurt him further. Therefore, spend quality time with him and cater to his emotional needs.
Decide the consequence of using bad words again
What I mean by a consequence is not punishment. But, decide a logical consequence of using bad words.
Let’s understand this with an example:
Vikky, an 8-year-old boy plays a game with his Mom. As the game progresses, he realises he will lose the game. In a fit of anger, he blurts out, “You stupid Mom! You don’t know how to play.”
Now, his Mom can handle his behaviour in two ways. She can react in a rage, shout, spank or punish Vikky. However, this will leave Vikky wondering, “What is wrong with Mummy? Why doesn’t she understand me? I was upset when I lost the game.”
Yet another way to handle Vikky’s misbehaviour is to fix a logical consequence. His Mummy can decide not to play the game further if he continues to misbehave. She can understand his frustration of losing the game and talk about it later. There is no need to shout or punish him. With such a logical consequence, Vikky will understand how his behaviour upsets his Mom. He will realise his mistake and take responsibility for his actions.
Thus, a logical consequence helps the child to understand what behaviour is right and what is wrong.
In the end, let me tell you a little secret. I have tried these steps with my neighbour’s child, to stop him from using bad words. And Voila! They worked.
So, what is your formula to stop a child from using bad words?. Did you ever try these steps? If not, do it now! I am sure you will also succeed as I did. Share your experiences in the comments below.
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