Last Updated on 31 May 2019 by Dr Shivangi
Do you fulfill all your child’s demands without thinking?
Do you support your child even when he is misbehaving/wrong?
Are you always packing your child’s shool bag even when he can do himself?
If you answer ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, you are probably pampering your child and calling in for a BIG TROUBLE.
Trouble because the effects of over pampering a child take time to show up but will defintely manifest. A pampered child is always a spoiled child. And if you continue pampering, you are bound to cry seeing the effects of over pampering.
Can’t understand what I mean?
Let me tell you something ….
A Real Story about Effects of Over Pampering
A cute and a shy 2-year-old boy came to live in our neighbourhood. His fair skin, almond-like eyes, and charming smile were enough to mesmerise anyone.
“Aunty aur didi ko namaste karo” (Say Hello to Aunty), spoke his mother pointing towards me and my Mom. But he didn’t speak a word.
“It’s just the first time. Some children are shy. Let it be. Let us know if you need anything”, replied my mother.
Years went by and he is now a 14-year-old young and dashing guy. His eyes are as mesmerising as they were.
The real stuff happens now……
It was the early morning of a beautiful Sunday. Our doorbell rang but none of us wanted to get out of the bed.
My mother opened the door and there was our neighbour crying and begging for help. For one moment, none of us could understand what happened.
I offered her a glass of water and asked her to calm down.
“Tell me what happened”, quirked my mother.
“Police has come to take my son. He has beaten one of his classmates brutally. And his father has complained to the police. Please help me. Please save my son” exclaimed our neighbour.
But, what could we do? Or anyone for that matter? It’s a legal issue; nobody can do anything!
The young boy was being taken like a criminal in front of our eyes. And none of us could do anything. There were tears in everybody’s eyes but all were helpless.
What can you conclude from the story?
“These are the effects of over pampering a child. His parents ONLY spoiled his future”, my mother was rambling to herself.
Curious, I asked what she meant.
“Uske parents ne hi uska future kharab kar dia. What has happened today is because of his parents.”
How I asked!
“His parents over pampered him. And the result is there in front of you. When we assembled in the park each evening, his mother used to tell me about his behaviour. How he demanded one thing or the other every day! And they fulfilled all his demands with no second thought.”
But Mom, this is pampering. You should have stopped her and explained to her.
“I did, not once but many times. But she didn’t listen.”
Every week we heard other neighbours complaining to his mother about him. He hits other children, bullies them, snatches away their things, etc.
But his mother didn’t care. She always blamed other kids for hitting his son.
So, what was she doing?
She was supporting her child’s wrongdoings. She never explained to him what is right and what is wrong.
By fulfilling all his demands, supporting his wrongdoings, and not teaching him the right behaviour, his parents gave him the message: YOU ARE THE BOSS. YOU CAN HAVE ALL YOU WANT.”
This was the tragedy that happened to our neighbours.
Can Effects of Over Pampering be so Terrific?
Yes, the effects of over pampering a child can be very drastic.
My mom is the senior most lady in our block. And frequently other parents ask her: How to get our children to listen to us?
This is because today’s children are obstinate (ziddi); they don’t listen to their parents. And parents need help!
My Mom simply replies to them:Children are not born obstinate. An obstinate child is the fruit of your wrong belief system: Parents should give everything the child wants. Click To Tweet
It’s because of your pampering that you end up with an obstinate child. And gradually, he starts showing other signs of a spoiled child.
If you think, he will understand and outgrow his wrong habits when he grows up, you are just fooling yourself. A spoiled child will always remain spoiled unless you stop pampering him.
Note: I have written this post as an eye-opener for the parents who pamper their children, knowingly or unknowingly.
So, Ultimately What are the Effects of Over Pampering ?
The toughest part of pampering a child is that you don’t even know you are pampering. That’s because you confuse love with pampering OR feel helpless in front of your demanding and obstinate child.
Related: How to deal with a demanding child?
If you continue to pamper your child and support his wrongdoings, you will instil in him:
….. and eventually spoil his future. Because these attributes will never lead him to success and happiness in life.
So, it won’t be wrong if I say side-effects rather than just effects of over pampering a child.
It’s easy to pamper and spoil the child now but difficult to pay its costs later. Sooner or later, you will face the effects of over pampering your child. So, be a WISE parent and stop PAMPERING your child.
If you have been pampering for long, you already have a spoiled child in the making. But hold on, it’s not the END of the world. You still have hope and a solution. Read this guide on how to handle a spoiled child.
What do you think about pampering a child? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Liked the post? Spread the word on your social media channels. Other parents need to read this!
Get all our parenting tips and hacks straight into your INBOX for FREE! Just click below to sign-up.Send me the posts