Does your child constantly demands something or the other? And if he doesn’t get it, you are welcomed by the firecest cries and tantrums from your child?
If you answer ‘Yes’, you probably have a spoiled child or a spoiled brat.
I know the term ‘spoiled child’ doesn’t sound good but if you don’t intervene NOW, you will have a child grown into a ‘spoiled adult’ who is rude, arrogant, impatient, and may be aggressive.
Such a child is a big cause of nuisance at home. His tantrums seem never-ending and he continues to challenge your patience every now and then.
Having a spoiled child doesn’t mean you can’t unspoil him. Spoiled brats can be fixed, the only thing is you must know how.
And that’s what I will detail in this post.
So, let’s dive in to learn the ways to fix a spoiled brat!
Here’s what this post will tell you:
How do you know if your child is spoiled?
First things first.
You must know if your child is REALLY spoiled or has some behavioural disorder.
And how do you know that?
Well, CHECK if your child shows any of these signs of a spoiled brat:
If you see any of these signs in your child, it’s TIME TO ACT!
How to fix a spoiled brat?
Fixing a spoiled brat requires to follow these 7 steps:
1. Stop Pampering the child
Spoiling a child starts with pampering. Pampering by parents, grandparents or other adults in the family.
So, unless you put a stop to ‘PAMPERING’, fixing a spoiled brat is IMPOSSIBLE.
However, most parents don’t EXACTLY know what pampering is and do it unknowingly.
Confuse pampering with love and affection.
How many times have your heard parents saying?
“I love my child and can’t see him crying. So, I do everything I can for him.”
“I had a hard time as a child. I don’t want my child to suffer from what I have gone through. So, I try to give him everything I can.”
But this ‘DOING/GIVING EVERYTHING TO THE CHILD’ is actually pampering and spoils your child EVENTUALLY.
Pampering a child is defined as:Pampering is ‘to cater to one’s needs and desires in an excessive way, that in turn adversely affects his character, nature or attitude.’ Click To Tweet
Mind you, the word “EXCESSIVE” is the keyword.
If you gratify the demands of your child in excess, you are pampering him.
This ‘EXCESSIVENESS’ is defined as:
1. Buying everything the child demands
This is more prominent with working parents who compensate spending time with kids by giving gifts. They also do it to handle their child’s tantrums as it seems the easiest solution.
2. Buying things over the necessity
Parents keep on buying new toys, clothes and other stuff for their child even when he has enough.
3. Taking the child’s side even when he is wrong
Every mom considers his child as innocent. She can’t imagine him doing anything wrong but blames the other kid.“Doosre bacche ne hi kuch kia hoga, tabhi mere bacche ne aisa kia,”
How often we hear this?
But by ignoring the child’s mistakes and taking his side, you pamper him.
4. Not letting the child do things on his own
As an infant, your child depends on you for all his tasks, from bathing to feeding. But as he grows, he becomes capable to do things by himself.
So, if you sharpen your child’s pencils, tie his shoelaces, pack his bag, etc. when he is capable of doing it himself, you deprive him of an opportunity to learn and gain self-confidence.
5. Handing him money when he asks for anything
If you hand over money to your child (except on few occasions) to gratify his desires, you pamper. You show him, no matter what, no matter whatever be the cost, you can buy it.
Giving hugs to your child, taking care of his needs, helping him with studies and homework and praising him for his efforts/achievements is GOOD.
However, when you indulge in these activities in excess; excess of love, kindness, and care, you cross the line of love and enter the domain of pampering.
So, STOP IT RIGHT AWAY!
If you are convinced with what I say, it’s time to take the next step!
2. Control your temptations
Don’t be tempted to give in to your child’s demands immediately, even if you can afford. See if the child really needs what he asks for.
3. Pack up on your patience level
By deciding to stop pampering, you are giving a huge challenge to yourself. Because your child has become habitual to your pampering, and if you don’t, tantrums are bound to come.
So, you need to be very very patient and calm to tackle your child’s tantrums.
Practice yoga and meditation daily to pack up on your patience levels.
4. Learn to Say “No”
Majority parents give in to the child’s demands because they don’t want to make him cry or they want to be a perfect parent. But this behaviour teaches the child how to gain your attention and get his demands fulfilled.Learn to say “No” to your child’s illegitimate demands. Click To Tweet
5. Teach the value of money
Set up a rule and let the children know they can’t have everything they want every time. Teach them the value of money and saving for future.
6. Respond to the child’s mistakes
Every human commits a mistake and so does a child. But a wise person learns from his mistakes and doesn’t repeat them.
Inculcate this wisdom in your child by responding (not reacting in anger) to his mistakes and guide him towards the right.
7. Let the child “do it yourself”
Small things like packing his schoolbag, cleaning up his room, keeping dishes in place, etc. are the things kids love to do. It inculcates independence and self-confidence in them. So, don’t intervene and let him do things himself.
Final words on raising a spoiled brat
Siddharth Mallya, Akash Ambani, Justin Bieber are all examples of famous spoiled brats, pampered by their parents and grown to be what they are today.
Do you want your child to grow up to be the same?
If NO, change your belief system about PARENTING today itself.
Stop confusing love with pampering. GET up, CHANGE your beliefs, and TAKE a step to say NO to pamper.
Believe me; your child will be thankful to you for his entire life for not pampering him!
Now, I wish to hear from you.
How will you start unpampering your child?
Will you say ‘No’ to his illegitimate demands OR Will you teach him the value of money? Share with me your ideas of unpampering and un-spoiling a spoiled brat!
If you are convinced with this post, do me a favour by sharing it with your friends on social media.