On searching what a good parent is, this is what I came across, “A good parent is someone who promotes and supports the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.”
Sounds like a definition of some scientific technique. Isn’t it?
As a mother, you know, parenting can’t be stated within the parameters of a definition. Parenting is like nurturing a little plant; showering your love and affection so it blooms with its full vigour.
No one can set a limit to what parenting is; every parent brings up his child in his own way.
Yet, there is something that sets apart good parents from the bad ones.
Want to know the characteristics of a good parent? Let’s get started!
No, I don’t wish to attack your parenting style nor taunt you as a bad parent. It’s just a checklist for you to cross-check whether you fulfil all the qualities of a good parent or have missed out on any.
#1 He doesn’t pamper the child
Many parents live their lives centred on their children. It thrills them to do everything for their happiness.
Many young mothers keep their babies overly dressed thinking this would protect them from the harsh weather, shop unnecessary things and toys for them. As the child grows up, she does everything according to his whims and fancies without paying heed to what is right and wrong.
The child deserves your attention, but, not to the degree of pampering and worship.
So, a good parent:
- Never buys things not required by the child or the ones he would never use. This way he ensures the child learns to value the things in life, not their price.
- Encourages the child for his good deeds, but, never gives way to his tantrums to seek his approval.
Why not read this: How to deal with toddler tantrums in public?
#2 Focuses on the child’s strengths, but also his weaknesses
Today’s parents are not open to listen to anything negative about their kids, even if someone raises the concern for the child’s benefit. They believe their child is perfect and blame the opponent for his negative view of the child.
However, a good parent is always open to hear the truth, however bitter it might be. This proves beneficial as he can intervene and handle the situation well before it’s too late.
#3 Doesn’t force his dreams and aspirations on the child
Not long before the child is born, parents plan about his future, what they aspire him to be. They forget that their child is an individual with unique strengths and skills, and they need to just nurture those skills.
It’s natural to be happy with the success of your child. Yet, with passing time his success and aspirations confide with yours. You look towards your child as a medium to fulfil the wishes you could not at your age. Suddenly, parenting stops about them and becomes about you.
A good parent knows this practice will burden the child and strain his relationship with him. So, he stays away from doing it.
#4 Inculcates independency and competency in the child
As a toddler, your child completely depends on you for his needs. It doesn’t matter to him what clothes you make him wear, what colour you choose for him, what shoes, etc.
However, as he grows, he understands his surroundings and makes his own choices. He may or may not ask for your opinion. Mothers feel left out and intrude on the personal space of their child, thinking they are doing for his benefit. But, this doesn’t encourage self-reliance and independence in your child, and also strains your relationship.
#5 Doesn’t compare his child with others
Whether a toddler or an adolescent, parents compare their child with others. They pressurise the child to be like someone else.
Such parents forget that every child is gifted with a particular talent. They just need to direct that inherent talent. No two children can be same, neither physically nor mentally.
A good parent recognises the talent of his child and let him what he wishes to be. That way he puts his mentoring as a parent to good use.
#6 Behaves the way he wants his child to
Every parent wishes to inculcate moral values and good etiquettes in their children. However, they forget that the child imitates what the parents do. How hard you try to teach them good manners, but if you misbehave, the child will pick up that behaviour.
You might think your angel is just a toddler, he won’t understand your language. You utilise this freedom to behave the way you want; shouting, throwing things away, etc. Though your baby can’t understand the words, but can pick up the negative vibes associated with your negative behaviour.
#7 Allows the child to face adversity
It’s good to take care of the needs of your child at every age. However, today, parents are too quick to swoop in. They don’t want their child to face any difficulty in his life; will do everything to make him comfortable.
This attitude is inimical to your child’s confidence and self-esteem. Adverse situations will appear in life. If you do not prepare your child to face them, he will suffer from low confidence and might progress to depression in later life.
So, it may seem that you do him a favour by keeping him away from all the adversities, but in reality, you stunt his growth as a human being.
So, how to be a good parent this Diwali?
Diwali, as a festival, symbolises the victory of good over evil, knowledge over ignorance.
Now, when you know the characteristics of a good parent, it will help you realise any parenting mistakes you might have been ignoring till now.
So, this Diwali,
- Buy gifts and clothes for your child only which are necessary.
- Go organic and celebrate a pollution-free Diwali, thus, setting an example for your children.
- Pledge to imbibe all the qualities of a good parent in yourself
What do you think about this post? Have anything to add to the list? Share your views in the comments below!
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