If someone asks you “How much do you love your child?” or “Do you love your child unconditionally?” you will give him a stunned look.
Naturally, the question seems silly! All parents love their children unconditionally and without measure. They can do anything for them; even give up their lives.
So, what I ought to tell you in this post? You already know what it means to love your child unconditionally. It is to love him in every situation no matter what. However, there’s much more to it.
Let’s see what it is!
What does it mean to love your child unconditionally?
Every parent is different and so are their parenting styles. Even though all parents have an unconditional love for their children, it means different for everyone.
Let me come straight to the point!
Some parents spoil their children in the name of unconditional love. However, it’s not their fault. They are not aware of it.
You might be wondering…
How can an unconditional love between parent-child spoil him?
In this section, you will learn about two bad parenting habits; habits which the parents’ exhibit in the name of unconditional love for a child.
I. Pampering your child
How many times have you heard these sentences about today’s kids?
“Aajkal ke bacche bahut ziddi hain”!
“Aajkal ke bacchon ki zid poori karni hi padti hai”!
This is typical in every household, isn’t it?
Parents are tired of fulfilling all their child’s demands and blame the kids for being obstinate, for being spoiled.
Now, just take a pause and think…
Were these children born obstinate? Did they throw tantrums from the beginning?
NO! So, what went wrong? Who is to blame?
Yeah! The environment to which today’s kids are exposed to has a certain role but is not the entire culprit.
So, have you understood your mistake? How are you spoiling your child in the name of unconditional love?
To love your child unconditionally doesn’t mean to pamper him. It doesn’t mean fulfilling his wants, but satisfying his needs within your capacity.
And I bet; if you raise your child in this manner right from the beginning, you will never face a problem of a demanding child later.
II. Overprotecting your child
Love is synonymous with care and naturally you will protect your child from harm. As parents, you do everything to protect your child from danger, pain, suffering, failure, and disappointment.
So, what is overprotecting your child? Let me give you some real-life examples:
- A mother doesn’t let his son ride a bicycle lest he may fall and get injured.
- Dad overreacts and blames the school authorities when his child gets hurt while playing on the playground.
- A teenager can’t go out with friends because parents believe she can’t take care of herself.
- Parents are always there to solve the smallest problem of their daughter. Even before she can think of a solution, parents solve it for her.
Thus, overprotecting your child is to worry about his safety or success too much; so much so as to prevent the child from being independent.
Protective and overprotective parenting has a very subtle difference. The difference will be clear if you pay attention to these signs of overprotection:
- You worry too much about little things happening to your child
- Every time you predict bad things for your child even if they don’t happen
- When something negative occurs, you immediately try to fix it for your child rather than allowing him to make efforts
- You complain to the school staff more often than other parents
- You don’t give your child his/her free space.
And there’s a big reason for you to worry about overprotecting your child. It doesn’t surmount to loving your child unconditionally, rather makes him sensitive, unhealthy on the emotional plane, dependent, and lose his self-confidence.
So, do you still feel that pampering and overprotecting your child are healthy? Does it mean you love your child unconditionally?
If yes, then continue with your style of parenting. And those who agree with this post should share it with other parents to inspire them for loving their children unconditionally.