I had talked about how to talk to your teenager in one of the previous posts. But, communication doesn’t begin only at a teenage. You communicate with your child right from his birth. He responds by crying, smiling, or just gazing at you. But, as he grows up, he picks up your language, words, style of talking, and behaviour.
As a parent, you always strive to teach good habits and behaviour to your child. But, many times, you say certain things which might negatively influence your child. You might not realise when you say, but they affect your child negatively.
What are those things you should never say to child? And how do they affect your child? Though they are many, I have compiled a list of five things I hear in every household and you should never say to your child.
1. If you do so, I will tell dad or teacher
Isn’t this a favourite one-liner with all the mummies? When the child doesn’t listen to his mom, she blurts out: “Shaam ko aane do papa ko, tumhari sari harkate btaungi”
There are other variations to this sentence like:
- Phir lagaun phone papa ko office mein
- Kal school chalo, teacher se shikayat karungi tumhari ki tum kehna nahi mante
- Papa ko bolungi tumhe koi cheez (thing) nahi dilayenge
Pondering what’s the problem with these sentences?
You must; they seem apt to control your child’s mischief and tantrums, but also scare him? It seems you threaten your child for a particular mischief and instil a fear in him, either of his dad or his teacher. And he won’t be able to make a healthy relationship with them.
If the child ignores your scolding, it’s because he understands your incapability to control him. Click To Tweet And so you threaten to complain to his dad or teacher.
Thus, you will either instil a fear in your child or he won’t understand why you forbid him from a particular habit.
Instead, take responsibility to handle your child’s tantrums on your own. Even if you wish to take help from your husband, don’t threaten the child in his name. Just ask your spouse to help.
2. You moron…
Either you don’t know what a ‘moron’ means or you don’t realise its effect on your child when you say it. “Moron” means a “stupid” or “mentally retarded” person and is counted as an offensive language.
If you say this to your child, it may hurt his sentiments or he may reciprocate the same language to you or his friends. How will you accept it then?
3. Telling a lie to the child
You always teach your child to speak the truth. In fact, some parents even beat their child when he tells a lie. And if you tell a lie to your child, what should you expect?
However, sometimes you can’t speak the truth, especially about the complex issues of life, like finances, divorce etc. So, you need to tell a lie to protect your child from the bitter truth. But, if you think children can’t pick up your lies or sense anything fishy, you are mistaken.
Research suggests children can easily sense when parents lie which makes them distrust their own parents. You make your child feel it’s okay to tell a lie to escape from a situation.
4. You always make mistakes
Every human makes mistake, and you are not an exception. So, why do you expect absolute perfectionism from your child? If you blame your kid each time he makes a mistake, you make him lose his self-confidence.
Your child will view himself as inferior to others who don’t commit such mistakes. And it’s not good for your child.
Instead, make him feel loved and supported despite the mistake. Explain him the consequences of his mistake and how can he improve upon it.
5. I will slap you…
This has become a favourite means by which parents control their child’s mischief and tantrums. Just give him a slap or say, “Thappad pad jayega agar baat nahi manoge toh”
But, do you realise, by doing so, you teach your child to be aggressive or violent? You teach him that violence is okay if others do not give in to your wishes. So, don’t be surprised if your child hits you when you don’t fulfil his demands.
Everybody knows that children will pick up their parents’ words, language, and behaviour .But, still, they speak such sentences in front of their child.
Children learn from what parents are or how they behave and not what they teach or tell. So, next time be careful of what you say to your child. Parenting is not only taking care of the child but also what you say to your child. Click To Tweet
So, take note of the things you should never say to child.
If you have other things to add to this list, share them in the comments below. And if you like this post, please share it with your friends on social media.